so far my week has been pretty okay :) with the exception that my "egg donor" and i are not on speaking terms >:( .so obviously i had a very grueling weekend and i finally crashed on tuesday... that very morning i could barely wake up let alone speak my sister came to wake me up because i wasn't ready and i told her i was able to drive them or go to school.. she went to tell my mother @ 7:45 and they have school @ 8:30 and egg donor came storming in and pulled off my blankets and said, " wtf why wouldn't you have told me sooner!! what are you stupid or something".. in my head i was thinking wtf... you have 15 minutes to get ready and you don't start til 9:00 you have plenty of time... so she was just talking shit for the whole 15 minutes screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs... i got so annoyed i said eff it.. i'm leaving so i just rolled out of bed in my pjs and took my sisters to school.. as i started to drive i was already upset and ended up yelling at my sisters because i always seem to get into some kind of pot hole which involves them.. i burst into tears and continued driving.. i dropped the two off without saying a word and drove to the bf's house, thankfully i have him to keep me sane. he talked me down from my anger and eventually i fell asleep in his arms... i missed school but i needed the day off. we woke up around noon and headed to ikea so that i may purchase some things for the rest of my room and we spent the afternoon in Emeryville. It was awesome, I felt so much better.. after our long afternoon i drove the bf home and headed home myself.. once i entered the door of my house i knew the "ish was going to hit the fan" in case you didn't know asian mothers are the worst people to piss off because they always like to have the last word and bitch until their satisfied. so right when i walk in she just starts to go at it.. i just go to my room and after 10 minutes of nonstop bickering i got fed up and said " just leave me alone.. obviously you don't care if i was sick..." she replies, " i don't care i don't care! what do you know... you should've told me you didn't feel well earlier!" then i thought in my head.. " wtf do you expect of me i stayed up half the night trying to control my cough and unstoppable runny nose how was i to wake up any earlier!" i said nothing and my dad came in to help place some nails in my wall for my new picture frames and she continued to bitch bitch bitch. i sat there and took in and started tearing up.. i don't know if it was because i was exhausted or really piss, but my dad he understands now because he knows that my sisters hate it when we get screamed at and the only way to make us understand is if you talk to us calmy and he's adapted that philosophy which i totally appreciate him for.. on the other hand my mother is nothing like him she believes a child needs to be discipline through spanking and yelling.. so finally i said, " i may be the oldest, but i can't always fulfill your perfect mold of a chinese daughter.. you expect me to be super woman, but i too have shit to deal with and you just expect me to do whatever you want at any moment... i spend an 40 minutes a day chauffering my sisters and i dont have class for another 1 before that so i get to school and wait for nothing.. sometimes i wish i could just sleep for the extra 30 minutes.. as selfish as it sounds. but i struggle so much to understand the chinese culture where everything is about the loyalty to a family or group as opposed to american cultural perspective where you're supported to be an individual and do your thing.. so yeah then "mom says fine you don't need a car then, you can take the bus from now on!" so she took my car away, whatever i don't mind taking the bus.. so since yesterday i haven't said anything to her. other than that i'm okay because i don't need her negativity bringing me down.
so let's recap what i did today, i had so much fun at school if you can believe that i really do enjoy my mwf classes, best teachers ever :]. so at lunch i met up with my friend aubrey and my boyfriend's friend marcus for lunch, we got caught up on each other's lives and just chilled. i made plans with aubrey to walk our doggies after our classes [ aubrey, marcus, and thee bf have been childhood friends they live in the same neighborhood and were neighborhood kids] so around 2:30 aubrey came and picked chowder and myself up at thee bf's house. we spent 45 minutes at the park watching the doggies run around and play.. it was nice :] ended my day with a nice nap with thee bf and arrived home. i really should be working on my AAS paper for Japanese class. i guess i'll start now, hope everyone else is having a good week! STAY POSITIVE, WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL & GOOD PEOPLE!
-Shirley
[l-r: babe, kim, me this is from kim's 20th birthday, which was 2 years ago...]
.JPG)
